For anyone thinking of seeking counselling for the first time, it can be helpful to know a little bit more about what it is and what you can expect.

Counselling, sometimes also called psychotherapy or talking therapy, is first and foremost a relationship, though unlike any other form of relationship you may have had in your life. In this relationship, the professional counsellor or therapist will create the space for you to speak about difficulties you may be having in any aspect of your life, and also for you to begin to understand yourself in a clearer and more compassionate way. The counsellor will do this by listening to you, reflecting on what you’ve communicated, and sometimes asking questions which will help you explore your feelings and experiences in more depth. They may gently challenge you and encourage you to consider new ideas or ways of looking at things.

The counsellor will not speak extensively about themselves or compare you to other people. They will also not tell you what to do, although they may sometimes suggest ‘homework’ in between sessions or support you to identify realistic changes in your life outside of therapy.

Within the therapeutic relationship, a counsellor will offer you empathy, non-judgement and genuineness, and help you develop these for yourself and others. Counselling is a safe space, built on trust and confidentiality. This safe relationship, where you are free to express yourself honestly, is the most beneficial part of therapy- over and above any specific approach or technique.

Some Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to have a diagnosis to start therapy? No. Therapy can and does help if you have a diagnosis of depression, anxiety or other mental illness. However, many people come because they recognise certain emotions or behaviours that are affecting their lives in a detrimental way. If you have immediate serious concerns about your mental health or that of someone in your family, you should consult your GP.

Can you ‘fix’ me? Many people first starting therapy feel a little bit broken and are, understandably, looking for a way to feel better quickly. Unfortunately no, a counsellor can’t supply you with a quick or easy fix for your difficult feelings. It can take time and sometimes therapy involves confronting those things that you would rather not talk about or feel. However, gradually you will begin to understand and address what may be causing your feelings and how to manage those feeling more effectively.

How long do I have to come? There’s no easy answer to this. Some clients may do a lot of good work in a few sessions– 6 or 8, for example– and for others, this is still just brushing the surface. This depends entirely on you, and how extensively you wish to explore your life at this point. I will not keep you coming to therapy longer than feels beneficial for you.

My partner and I are at crisis point in our relationship. Can you help us? Therapy can support a couple in difficulty to heal their relationship. It does this by looking at the what each partner is bringing into the relationship and at the communication styles and dynamics that exist between both people. Therapy cannot guarantee to repair broken-down relationships, however, particularly when one or both partners want to end it. For couples therapy to be effective, both partners must be willing to undertake it and make changes.